Five Tips On How To Handle A Negativity Bomb (From Someone You Don't Know)
So I had an interesting experience late last week..a negativity bomb, if you will.
I pride myself on transparency, integrity and an effload of passion in everything that I do – it’s not striving for perfection, it is more about progress – it’s about community, creativity and an honest desire to be my best self more often!
For some people that is even too much to read – I get it, a few years back I would have been the same…
True to how I try to live my life, I don’t see anything as competition, I think that there is enough to go around. I think that comparing too much takes you away from your passion and what you have to offer. I give freely of all my recipes and of my time – the value I want to give is straight from the heart as to how I can serve you, make your life easier with what I have (like others do for me).
My desire on the most basic of levels is to change health and change the amount of people that are happy in this world. Bit by bit, bird by bird. The reason I don’t see much as competition, and why I rarely look sideways and keep my eye on the prize, has a lot to do with ‘The Blue Ocean Strategy’ – great read if you get a chance!
So…. I finished a Hatha class at a yoga studio I am not collaborating with but happy to support because of their offerings and agreeable timetable. It was a beautiful class and I was feeling pretty great. Imagine my surprise (read: absolute shock) when I was honed in on and verbally barraged by the owner about my ethics, lack of integrity and a warning to ‘check myself and my energy’ as I exited the beautiful class in my chilled out state.
It quickly became apparent that I had unknowingly pissed someone off – to add insult to industry someone who doesn’t know me, has never interacted with me but clearly had more information on me than I did on them – this little sensitive soul was oh-so floored, offended and confused.
Deer in headlights, with a flash of embarrassment for the half a dozen people exiting the class by my side, explains the look on my face (and heart) well.
So what did I do?
When I say you can never learn less, I mean it, and I had to call on a few tools and mantras to diffuse the BS and not hit the GO button on panic. To not go from zero to one hundred and retaliate, cry, throw up or use any of those ego-based comebacks that are witty but do not bode well for the dissolving of drama in a situation! #nomoredrama
It was time to walk the walk in real time. It felt freaking good! And for you, my love, here are my five hot tips that got me through...
1. Always take a breath and stand in your truth. As Brene Brown says ‘Don’t puff up, don’t shrink, just stand your ground’. Stay cool, drop into your heart and hold the space, this needs to be reviewed second to second sometimes!
2. Acknowledge your reaction, feel the feeling and where it sits in your body. No need to let the mind chatter start, but watch what comes up and gently allow it to flow straight on through.
3. It’s not me, it’s you. There was nothing about that interaction that was about me, and the old adage that it says more about them then it does about me is true. Act NOT to react.
4. Suspend judgement with all your might until you can get perspective. Think ‘love love love – can I get space to understand where that came from in her (even if you don’t know the person well – we all know humans, right?!) – love love love – where have I wanted to act like that and have (or haven’t) – love love love – compassion, forgiveness and understanding – love love love love love’
5. Choose love and forgiveness over fear and playing small every time. I sent the owner an email openly explaining my position, not apologising, not anything other than an explanation and desire to donate my remaining fees to her affiliate charity. I meditated, sent her love and gave myself a hi-5 for not losing my shit nor shedding a tear!
The phrase ‘be the beacon’ or ‘take the high road’ is fun to put into action, it is putting into practice all the stuff we learn in life and on the yoga mat and take it out to the real world!
By holding yourself to that kind of expectation, that kind of compassion can only spread more good and life each other up. That, my love, is something worth fighting for!
'til next time,